A simple mental checklist to keep conversations flowing and build trust before pitching an idea.
How to Start a Good Conversation
Starting a conversation can be harder than it looks.
Sometimes, you meet someone new and you just don't know what to say. Other times, you are catching up with someone you know well, but you still struggle to find a good starting point.
For both cases, small talk is a good choice. Small talk isn't meaningless. It's the bridge to deeper connections.
The FORM technique was created for small talk. It applies to networking events, sales calls, and casual meetings.
Core Concept of the FORM Technique
The FORM technique is built around four simple topics: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message.
Each topic helps guide the conversation naturally.
Family
Ask about the person’s family.
This is often a comfortable starting point because family is important to many people.
You can ask questions like, "Do you have any siblings?" or "How is your family doing?" This shows you care and are interested in their personal life.
Occupation
Start with light, optional personal context, only if it feels appropriate.
Instead of jumping into private questions, use softer openers like: "Are you originally from here?" or "Do you visit family often?"
If they keep answers short, pivot to another topic quickly.
Recreation
Find out what they enjoy doing in their free time.
Hobbies and interests can create strong bonds. You can ask, "Doing anything fun this weekend?". Talking about fun activities usually brings more energy to the conversation.
Message
Once you have built a good connection, it's time to share a meaningful message.
This could be about your services, your ideas, or even just setting up the next meeting. At this point, people are more likely to listen and engage with your message because people feel more comfortable after an easy, low-pressure exchange.
Tips for Using the FORM Technique
- Be genuinely curious: People can tell when you are faking interest. Listen carefully to their answers and ask follow-up questions.
- Stay flexible: You do not have to go through F-O-R-M in order. Let the conversation flow naturally.
- Watch for body language: If someone seems uncomfortable with a topic, smoothly move to another area.
- Keep it simple: Do not overthink your questions. Friendly and basic questions often work best.
When to Use The FORM Technique
- Networking Events: Use FORM when you need a simple, reliable way to open a conversation with strangers and keep it moving without awkward pauses.
- Sales Calls: Use FORM to build rapport before discussing business. It helps you earn attention first, then transition into your purpose naturally.
- Casual Meetings: Use FORM when you want a warm start before jumping into agenda items, especially with cross-functional teams or new collaborators.
- First Dates: Use FORM as a light structure to learn about someone without forcing deep questions too early. Keep it playful and let the conversation guide the depth.
Takeaway
The FORM technique transforms small talk from a dreaded chore into a strategic tool for relationship building.
By systematically moving through personal topics before introducing your business "Message," you earn the right to be heard.
It prevents you from pitching too early and ensures that when you finally do get down to business, you are speaking to a friend, not a stranger.
