A model to reduce overwhelm by distinguishing between what you can control and what you can't.
Feeling Overwhelmed Is Common
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by things outside your control? If so, you are not alone. Many people spend time worrying about problems they cannot change.
Stephen Covey, in his famous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, introduced the Three Circles of Influence to help us focus on what truly matters.
This model teaches us how to direct our energy wisely to become more effective in life and work.
Understanding the Three Circles
The model divides everything we care about into three circles:
Circle of Concern
This includes everything that affects us, such as the economy, global events, or other people's opinions. We may worry about these things, but we have little or no power to change them.
- The weather
- The past
- The economy
- The new/global events
Action: Let go of anything in this circle, it will not serve you.
Circle of Influence
This covers areas where we can make a difference, such as relationships, skills, and habits. We may not control everything here, but our actions can have an impact.
- Your friends
- Your family
- Your reputation
Action: Put your focus on the factors that you can influence the most.
Circle of Control
This is where we have full power. It includes our choices, mindset, and behaviors. By focusing on this circle, we can take meaningful action and influence the other circles over time.
- Your thoughts
- Your actions
- Your reactions
Action: Spend your energy and time improving what you can control.
The key insight from this model is that when we focus on what we can control, our influence grows. If we spend too much time on things we cannot change, we waste energy and feel frustrated.
How to Use This Model in Daily Life
- Shift focus to your control zone – Instead of worrying about things beyond your reach, concentrate on what you can do. If you are stressed about work policies, focus on improving your skills or attitude.
- Expand your influence step by step – If you cannot control something directly, ask yourself: Can I influence it? For example, you cannot change your company’s decisions alone, but you can suggest ideas or build relationships with decision-makers.
- Avoid wasting energy on the uncontrollable – Recognize when you are stuck in the Circle of Concern. If you keep complaining about a problem without action, shift your attention to what you can actually do.
- Stay proactive – People who focus on their Circle of Control are more proactive, confident, and less stressed. They take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming external factors.
By applying this model, you can manage stress, make better decisions, and increase your impact. The more you focus on what you can control, the more effective you become.
When to Use This Framework
- High Stress/Anxiety: When you feel overwhelmed, list out your stressors and categorize them. If it's in the Circle of Concern, cross it out.
- Conflict Resolution: Instead of trying to control the other person (impossible), focus on your reaction and communication style (Control).
- Strategic Planning: Don't build a strategy based on market hope (Concern); build it based on product quality and customer service (Control/Influence).
- Feedback: When you receive criticism, don't dwell on the person's tone (Concern); focus on the truth in their words that you can improve (Control).
Takeaway
Your agency lies in the center. By relentlessly focusing on your own choices and attitude, you paradoxically gain more influence over the world around you.
